Untitled

All you ever own
Gets to own you in return
Emotions enslave

- Komodo Dragon

Customer Care and Territorial Pissings

I had this cell, which is of a make that’s made by this company that’s famous for making sturdy, durable, brick-like cells except that they sort of let that reputation go once they shifted to color-monitor mode. Anyways my cell was one of those color monitored dainty things that got all ill in case of a rain.

Heck, this is leading nowhere, the cell was a Nokia 3230 and the only point driven so far being, the cell WAS and not IS.

We guys went on a trip to Bhimashanker, which is this hill amongst the clouds where it generally rains and we went there in the rainy season. Cell got wet and hasn’t started up ever since.

Went to the local Nokia dealer as the main one in the city was like an anthill with all customers all over the place. The local dude was one of those who deserve a paragraph.

Local Dude:
He was real unfriendly, and one of those characters you meet who seems to hate everybody who’s from out of town. Bloody sadist. Anyways, he takes my cell, chucks it into one of the drawers in his tables and starts conversing with the next client, I had to bloody interrupt him to get my form filled and had to do most of it myself. Add to that, he chew pan and makes it a point to tell everybody that he handles a hundred cases a day and is hence a big guy.

Anyways, my entire transaction with that lousy peasant was over 4 phases and a showdown.

The first time, I called 3 days after giving them my cell (he’s promised to get it done or call me in 2 days’ time) and he tells me that it might cost me a tad more than the 450 bucks estimate they had initially churned up. The tad was about a grand, so a total of about 1400-1500 (they’re not exactly good in arithmetic). The best part was, they figured out that it might cost me more than expected and hence did nothing about it. Anyways, I tell them to PLEASE inform me the next time anything turns up and also that cash isn’t an issue, as I need my cell desperately and as soon as possible.

The second phase was 3 days after that and this time they’d figured out that they might not be able to repair it in that small joint of theirs and might have to send it to the main joint in town. Now they didn’t know whether to send it over or probably just try repairing it in house. So they decided to go to the third alternative, which was to sleep over the problem and hope it auto-fixes.
I told them to bloody send it and again that cash isn’t an issue and for God’s sake, PLEASE PLEASE let me know in case on ANY development. And they told me that they’ll try some crap out and if not possible, will send it to the main joint, and will let me know in any case in 2 days’ time.

Note: All this happened whilst I didn’t have a house and was riding all around town in those rains.

Third phase. The only time they weren’t absolute morons. I called them and they told me that they’d sent the piece over and also were willing to lend me a stand-by piece if I took the trouble of coming over. Well, in his lingo, it was more like “get here and take it, now that you ask for it you son of a @#@#$ outsider”.
They told me that it should be done in 15 days’ time for sure. Considering cash isn’t an issue and it’s going to the main joint where they can replace every part of the piece if they feel like it.

Well I needed a cell like crazy and had to agree to whatever they offered and ended up with a real pathetic old brick. What’s worse the 3 button didn’t work and 9 and 0 were a little hard to use.

Can you imagine 3 not working!!! That button has ‘E’ in it and ‘E’ in the most commonly used alphabet in English. That was horrible I tell you.

Fourth phase. I call them 20 days later and he tells me with a smirk that the main office can’t repair the rotten thing and that I can return that jalopy they provided me with in exchange for my fantastic cell with camera, Bluetooth, player etc etc except that the fantastic piece doesn’t work.
Yeah I didn’t get the humor there and was damn near boiling point to really acknowledge jokes from the friggin peasant, especially with the joke being on me.

There’s me without a house to stay in, with the bloody 16 hrs a day work schedules and having to deal with all this. It’s bloody sacrilege.

The showdown. I pull Viru paaji (who’s damn good at handling such bloodsuckers and is also from around here and speaks the local lingo) along and head straight to the joint all fuming and all.

Open the conversation with “I’m the guy who questioned your morals, lineage and basic manners on the phone a short while ago, now you wanted to talk to face to face (he pronounced it pphase and I did it too, just to get him annoyed), well, here I am, in your face and way taller”

Yeah everything (except the lineage part) is true and I had had a nice cozy chat with him on the phone before going there.

He tried being cool and all and asked us to sit down, which was not required as we were already seated.
He asked us for the job sheet (crappy jargon for a bloody piece of paper with nothing relevant printed on it), now like I said, Viru is damn good at this stuff. He waves it at the moron from a distance and doesn’t let him touch it.

This helped our cause in 3 ways.
1) He couldn’t tear the sheet to pieces or anything
2) It reminded me of the times I used to wave a biscuit at my dog and make it shake its head. Got me to cool down a bit.
3) The dealer got to know that we meant business this time.

Viru starts off in the local lingo to show that we really really meant business. I don’t know most of what they said, but the gist was Viru telling him that the treatment meted out on me wasn’t fair, and him telling that he couldn’t do anything about it, and Viru telling him that he should’ve at least called and let me know and him telling “It’s happened in the past, it’s alright, forget it”

This is where I entered the conv.

I mean how can HE forgive ME for him not having called me up… Also he’d given me this past line quite a few times already.

I told him that.

He goes,
“What can we do now sir?”
Me: “What can you do? Well you could give me my cell back and I leave and return this brick you’ve given me when I get my cell repaired or when I feel like it”
He: “No that’s not possible, you have to return the cell”
Me: “No to your no, I’m going to keep this as I need a cell even though it’s pathetic”

What follows actually happened. No kiddin’

He: “Hello, I gave you the stand-by out of courtesy”
Me: “Courtesy? You? Explain…”

He actually went on to explain… whadda moron

He: “I didn’t need to give you the cell, but I felt I should help you, so…informally…”
Me: “In which case, why did you informally write the battery number, model number and that other identification number on the job sheet” (couldn’t remember the abbreviation then, still can’t).
He: “That’s for my safety, I could use the entry made…” (attempted threat)
I waved my hand around like a teacher does when drawing attention to himself
Me: “Let’s think logically, how can you use something that YOU have written in a sheet that I am holding against me?”
He: “I can use it” (utterly confused)
Me: “No, you didn’t get my question right… I asked you HOW can you use it, not if you can use it or not”
He: “eh? I can use it…” (stunned as well)

The crowd was having a blast out there. This was free entertainment.

Me: “How How… that’s the keyword, How can you use it?”
He: “aaah?? Gargle gargle glug gik bark Nick Carter” (and other such garbage)
Me: (I swear I said this, Viru was there trying real hard not to laugh) “Here, read my lips (pointed at my mouth) HOW HOOOW, how can you?”
He: “gargle gargle why?”
Me: “I’m getting tired of this, can you or can’t you answer this? How…”
He: (finally regained some semblance of sanity) “wh… wh… why?”
Me: “Nevermind that, why didn’t you even call me?”
He: “phew… I have a 100 customers everyday, I’m a big shot” (he was real relieved)
Me: “So?” (I was big time tempted to tell him that my client serves a big part of a country and hence I do so in a way)
He: “Sir, that’s in the past… Forget it”
Me: “Yeah, quit talking about fogetting the past, else I’ll be a big part of your future and you won’t like it”
He went about his usual “I don’t know what to say now, so let me imitate a fish” mode.

Viru who’d been having a healthy laugh all this while pops in and asks him if the joint belongs to a Mr. ________ (he had apparently seen the name on the board as he entered, he’s brilliant)

He goes, “Yeah he’s my partner” (he was close to shivering)
Me: “Fine… thanks guess I got to make my calls now”

Anyways, I’ve spoken to Mr. ________ (a very polite man… let’s be fair) since then and have gathered that he’s the single owner of the franchise and has no partners (that’s how he puts it). He’s told me he’s going to go to the main joint personally and find out what went wrong and all that jazz.
He’s going to return my cell and I’ve got myself a new one in the meanwhile.

I might be sending parts of this post with other details to the Nokia guys as well to help them keep tabs on their dealers

I’m going to send the old one home and get it checked by folks who wouldn’t have problems with the owner being where I am from. Yeah they would have a problem with people from other towns there as well.

We’re in a real pathetic country with these slimy louts getting cheap sadistic thrills out of irritating outsiders. What patriotism if we can’t stand people from our own country? It’s the same people who buy flags, paint themselves etc on Independence Day? How many of them even remember it as of today (same month, we’re still in August).

I’m proud I do, albeit in a cheap, defensive, complaining, antagonized sort of a way. I do remember Independence Day.

It’s a damn long post, I agree, but I had to lay the facts down before you all as they were.

- Komodo Dragon

Just Pondering...

A few things about astronomy actually. I’d found the subject sort of interesting in school, but then being the stereotype Bangalore kid, I decided that Computer Science was the most interesting thing I’ve ever come across. I suddenly (when about 17) felt she’s like this absolutely interesting subject and that I’m willing to spend the rest of my life in her arms and all that poetic stuff (Pardon my language, I’ve been reading ‘The catcher in the rye’ and listening the RHCP all this while (oh what phenomenal bass guitaring)). Anyways, here I am, all in love with comp-sci and all that. Wow the arranged marriage deal suddenly doesn’t sound quite so alarming (and no, I’ve already formally met a couple of other chicks and am so completely over that tall chick and that funny aunt). Where was I, oh yeah, comp-sci, deal’s I got lucky in that I was decent in algebra and all (heh heh I love that book… The catcher in the rye).

Anyways, back to astronomy, we got to agree we’re not advanced in our study yet. It’s the brilliant scientists that are getting us places, not some mind-boggling instrument or something. Not sure about the moon deal and am fairly convinced that we haven’t gone too far into space as such. So, there is a possibility that there’s another planet that revolves around the sun in the same orbit, direction and in the same speed as Earth. The deal with this planet being it’s diametrically opposite the earth along the orbit. Try picturising this, two planets in the same orbit, opposite each other. Something like one of those atom diagrams we had to study in school, 2 electrons around the nucleus and on the same orbit. Now in this case, we couldn’t see the other planet because the sun’s in the way. No telescope can look past that explosion I assure you. If we’d have to see this planet, we’d have to travel quite a distance in a line perpendicular to the Sun-Earth virtual line. Just making it to the moon is no good; the sun is way too big to be seen around by just going to the moon. We have to go real far. And all this might just lead to us not finding anything anyways, so it’s a huge investment that’s most probably not going to payoff.

Now this planet might have some intelligent characters on it cause none of them have tried to contact us (absolute cheap in that this line was kinda borrowed from one of those Calvin strips). Or they might have. Contacted us I mean. They might have figured out that Americans are the morons the rest of the planet is obsessed on listening to and aping. So they went there in disguise (cheap antennae and all) and went about walking around some drunk farmers. They must’ve even taken a few of them farmers to their crafts and stuck some wires up all sorts of odd places in their (farmers’) anatomy that can’t be described here. Now these farmers go about shouting “abduction, alien-experimentation, Hritik Roshan…” and other such stuff.

Man did the aliens have a laugh checking our news out the next day!!!

The wiring was for the heck of it. Like they really want to know what we think. Did you ever bother finding out what a rabbit thinks? And also, we as a species are fairly ugly, let’s face it. They’s rather study some charming ostritch than study us.
Even we don’t study ourselves. We study rats, pigs, Saurav Ganguly etc.

The dudes in the other planet (let’s call it Earth I (our planet being Earth II)) are definitely more advanced than us. We are still bloody stuck trying to push the Earth backwards in order to move forward. With all due respect to Sir Isaac Newton (thank you for everything sir), we waste a lot of energy in all that push backward to get forward confusion. Haven’t you noticed most of the real quick running animals spend most of the running time in the air (between leaps), and even we (humans) when we try to sprint real fast, spend relatively more time in the air.
The only time we tried pushing forward in order to get forward was when we used the sail ships and even then we had to use the wind to do the pushing and some odd 45deg angles and Bernoulli’s theorem to move against the wind, real shoddy.
Also they ought to be more advanced than us because we have Deve Gowda and they don’t. Nevermind God and all that, but it’d be really disastrous to have 2 Deve Gowdas in the same galaxy and somebody with morals would make sure that didn’t happen.

Anyways, if there’s a check as to who’s more advanced, Earth II comes a clear runner up. Time we did something about it rather than pride ourselves in being the most intelligent species around and go about burning holes in the Ozone to prove it to ourselves. We were better off in the caves, except for Music of course.

Unrelated: Read in this book somewhere that RHCP were initially the “Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem” before they decided RHCP was better. They’re a trippy band nonetheless.

- Komodo Dragon

Lots of Time, Nothing to Do, Cash in hand

Blissful state to be in? yeah probably, but then you know how it’s with everything, you got some you want more, also the usual old man’s comment on the rising prices et al. In short, I want to make some extra moolah using whatever it is that I already have. I’ve thought out a few ways as well:

1) Become the Pune mayor, threaten to quit if the roads don’t improve in 4 days time. Charge 100 per interview during those 4 days and 25K per interview after that.
2) Make Ganguly/Himesh/Salman the next Indian drag-flick (that’s a hockey term, if in case you got ideas) specialist and shoot him in the butt and claim it was an accident. (this won’t give you moolah, but should be worth a try anyways)
3) Tell the newspapers that you saw Amitabh Bachchan in a pink suit.
4) Place a bet with a friend, collect 10 bucks from friend every time the vegetable vendor in the market place scratches himself, promise to pay a 100 bucks if he (vendor) doesn’t scratch himself for a whole half hour.
5) Place the same bet with many friends.
6) Open a ‘Hygiene Oriented’ vegetable stall in the same market place.
7) Get Karan Johar to man the vegetable stall.
8) Tell the press that you’re happy to do art movies.
9) (a little difficult) Collect all the water being sprayed in Delhi and sell it in Gujarat at exorbitant rates.
10) Organize a party, invite Amrita Arora.
11) Get hold of a girl you know who’s willing to flash a smile for no relevant reason. Go on a ride to the PM’s residence.
12) Call yourself a Pakistani and enter any Indian reality show.
13) Hire a few thugs and beat the crap out of the real estate agents all over town. Now start your own agency and charge the same rate.
14) This one’s a bit of social service too: Kill himesh, chuck him into a dry well and call the press. Tell them that he’s alive and you’re the first one to report it.
15) Tell the newspapers that you’re the new man in Karan Johar’s life and the romance flourished in the vegetable stall.
16) Shout “BOMB BOMB” in a Bombay local and get someone else to film the people charging out. Speak a few words about the spirit on Mumbai and send the video to the news channel that’s willing to pay the highest.
17) Killer: Get a shop anywhere in Pune, keep it open between 1300 hrs and 1600 hrs and also between 1930 hrs and 2015 hrs everyday.
18) Killer continued: Install secret cameras in the shop, and rent it out to the “makers” of MMS videos in the remaining hours.
19) Open a boutique that sells garments in all shades of pink (all the way to lavender). No other colors need be sold.
20) Go to a Pub, invite all the Floyd fans to a contest, charge everyone of them 10 bucks to take a peak at the question. Pay them a hundred if they get it right. Ask them something like What’s the next line after “Flash the red is wots...uh the deal”.
21) Wait a few months, pay some chemical freak give you some odd report, accuse the cola giants of selling pesticides, contraceptives etc in their bottles without paying the relevant taxes. Reopen the issue.
22) Tell a few new friends to keep the fact that the chief minister of J&K is your cousin a secret. Then deny it vehemently when asked about it.
23) Tell somebody that you’re tired of being an item girl.
24) Start up an astrology agency, Get in the revolutionary concept of 12 houses instead of the existing standard of 9 (People who don’t know about Indian astrology, get in touch with Narendra Hirwani, and while you’re at it, ask him for corrections in Sachin Tendulkar’s technique), tell your clients that the scientists have discovered 3 more planets and that changes everything, right?
Note: The idea for this one has been shamelessly lifted from ToI, Douglas Adams’ H2G2 Part V: Mostly Harmless and another blog.
25) Now this requires a bit of honesty: Charge the readers a 100 bucks if they went looking for the lyrics of ‘Obscured by clouds’, 200 bucks if they went looking for the lyrics of ‘Wots uh the deal’ and 300 bucks if they directly (again shamelessly) copy-pasted the part in point 20 which is in Bold-Italics on to google.com
26) Advice people who are about watch KANK not to do so.
27) Tell people that the water in the river Narmada is salty and that it has traded places with the Arabian sea.
28) Place an underfed cow next to a God’s statue, go about telling things like, “It shrunk, the milk was sucked out of it like it happened sometime last decade”.
29) Place bets on the number of Pakistanis Sunny Deol kills per movie. There’s a risk of losing here and also, you’ll have to tolerate quite a bit for a few measly bucks.

How about a small wager of our own? I’d say MAK Pataudi is a better hunter than Sallu. He’s got experience and a naturally shut eye going for him. What say?

- Komodo Dragon

Good Bye

“End of a legend’. This was the message that flashed on my TV screen on an early Monday morning, informing us of the sad demise of Ustad Bismillah Khan. Im sure it would not have been very shocking for people who followed his life, as this was expected. But what made me think was the message that was constantly flashing. Wonder if there can ever be an end to a legend.

Two days back, when a news channel broadcasted the news of his illness, I was kinda happy to see that at least someone bothered to cover his life for once. If I can recall well, I had been to one of his concerts almost 6 years back when I was in Mumbai. He was made to wait for hours to play and the monitors were never adjusted which eventually got him frustrated. How can you disrespect a man of that age and stature? I had not given this a thought then but now I wonder what importance does great music get in our country. 2001, he received the Bharat Ratna. He was 84 then. Where was the government all these days? And where was it when he was severely ill two years later. Would a Shah Rukh Khan have got the same treatment? John Abraham suffers a stomach ache and it hits the newspapers!

The scenario has always been the same in our country. We always agree that what’s famous is good. No wonder musicians like Himesh are topping the charts. (I pity that guy. He is always our target but I guess he deserves it.) Im not sure how many people in this country have even heard of Ustad Bismillah Khan or for that matter any other Indian musicians. The world respects these people but we don’t and the worst is that we are very proud of it. The other day, I happen to over hear two people talk about music. “Arre who kya raag-waag sunta rehta hai din bhar. Boring life hai teri.” is the way one describes our own music. I agree that Komodo and I are too much into international rock but then, that’s classic rock. We would never appreciate any hardcore guitaring with lyrics that sound more like a tribute to Eminem. And also, the three of us respect the music that people like Bismillah Khan created. That’s nothing but pure music. In fact, I have always been lucky enough to be amongst people who appreciate quality music. Be it my cousins, family or team-mates.

It was two days back when Komodo sent me a TOI article on Floyd. Over a thousand weeks in the US Billboard magazine's top 200 albums of all time. At 28 million copies sold, it’s the third largest selling album till date. The next best being ’The Wall’, also by Floyd. Man, what a band! Can anything get better than this? All these records prove that the people all over the world love their own music. Can one imagine a Zakir Hussain or a Jasraj featuring in any of our countdowns? Never has it happened and I can bet it’s never gonna happen. More because we will never allow it to happen because most of us are mesmerized by the scratch effects used in today’s songs. I guess one in a thousand people actually take the pains of understanding a song. And also that one in hundred tracks today have different lyrics. There seems to be a collection of words (Not more than 50 in number) and a permutation-combination of the same results in a song. Not sure where the Indian music industry is headed. But as long as musicians like Bismillah Khan and Floyd exist, existence of quality music is assured.

- AHAK

While I was watching the news about the demise, one of my room mates walks down to the hall, stares at the television and asks “Isn’t he the same guy who sings?”. “Is it? I thought he played guitars for Himesh.”….I replied sarcastically.

Why - Part II

Firstly, this is totally different from the previous Why. This is something even I wouldn’t expect from myself. Anyways here goes.

I’ve been having a bloody rotten time over the past few weeks. Being chucked out of the place I lived in for over a year and a half isn’t something I found amusing for starters, anyways a threat, a notice period of 10 days of which the first 8 having been spent loitering around town looking for a new place in the crazy heavy rains – unsuccessfully, forced us into thinking about alternatives. Got into doing things I don’t like… more about all that, the law, corporate support etc later. Well we’re in a place where you sometimes HAVE to get rough and we were forced into it and we did get rough. On retrospect, I’m glad all of us had the sanity to avoid using our muscle unnecessarily and the luck to find a new place, which is fairly convenient.

That apart, it’s the little things like a bloody power cut forcing a cold water bath on me in the rainy weather and a running fever, cell breaking down and staying that way to date (4th week of repairs), bike going for a toss as well and 16hrs a day, 7 days a week work schedules…
Yeah enough cribbing already…

Deal’s new place now, the rotten phase seems to have passed and so on… As of now, there’s no cable TV and we’re kinda relegated to watching stuff from Gag’s VCD collection. In Gag’s case, rewatching for about the 40th time, but then, he isn’t complaining.

Anyways, his (and the third roomie’s) taste is generally along the mainstream Hindi music/movies. It would be a crime to subject either of my roomies to the music I listen to, so it’s me tagging along (occasionally forcing them into some U2 or Queen and them hating it).

All the bloody rotten luck (both natural and manmade) has made me immune to almost anything... Including Hindi movie soundtrack videos...

We were watching this set of videos last evening, songs from some unheard of movies (Unheard by me. They could be massive hits for all I care) and it occurred to me that Sohail Khan (Salman Khan’s brother) resembles Sunny Deol (Bobby Deol’s brother). Why??

Any ideas?
Time to get artistic guys.

p.s. Notice their hairstyles (post all that weaving in Sunny’s case), jaw line, nose etc… incredible similarity.

- Komodo Dragon

REM – Find the River

Before I start, let me warn you, this is an article that doesn’t seem to go anywhere. So unless you’re a true music fan, don’t bother reading this one.

Not sure if many people associate with this. I very rarely like a song straight away. The first few times I hear it, I just try to understand it. Not the lyrics alone, I try to understand the feel of the song, the music. Not sure if I’m making much sense here. I’m not exactly a music man, just that I’m crazy about the art.

The song seems to gradually gain form over the first few initial times that I hear it. It’s only gradually that I begin to actually like it. Now after this while, I just cant remember what the song’s first impression on me was. I can’t remember what went through my mind on hearing the song the first time around.

After the initial period, the song could become an absolute fav. It’s probably more about associating with the song.
This doesn’t necessarily happen with only a song. For Ex: I was absolutely hooked on to Black Sabbath’s initial albums for a year or so in college.

Over the past few months the song that I’ve been hooked on to is REM – Find the River. I have no idea what it is about the song that I like so much, but there’s something for sure, and it’s there every time I hear the song.

I don’t know much about the band, except for probably their greatest hits which everybody knows about… and word of mouth reviews by a few critic friends I know.

Anyways, here’s the lyrics:

Hey now, little speedyhead,
The read on the speedmeter says
You have to go to task in the city
Where people drown and people serve.
Don't be shy. Your just deserve
Is only just light years to go.

Me, my thoughts are flower strewn
Ocean storm, bayberry moon.
I have got to leave to find my way.
Watch the road and memorize
This life that pass before my eyes.
Nothing is going my way.

The ocean is the river's goal,
A need to leave the water knows
We're closer now than light years to go.

I have got to find the river,
Bergamot and vetiver
Run through my head and fall away.
Leave the road and memorize
This life that pass before my eyes.
Nothing is going my way.

There's no one left to take the lead,
But I tell you and you can see
We're closer now than light years to go.
Pick up here and chase the ride.
The river empties to the tide.
Fall into the ocean.

The river to the ocean goes,
Afortune for the undertow.
None of this is going my way.
There is nothing left to throw
Of Ginger, lemon, indigo,
Coriander stem and rose of hay.
Strength and courage overrides
The privileged and weary eyes
Of river poet search naivete.
Pick up here and chase the ride.
The river empties to the tide.
All of this is coming your way.

Don’t know if I’ve even understood the lyrics the way it’s supposed to be understood, but then I can associate with every word. Odd eh?

Also, I don’t think this song features in their big hits. Not too many people would know much about this song. It’s probably not meant to be liked straight away either, and not too many people bother with songs that aren’t meant to be liked straightaway.

If you’re the kind of a person that likes to actually listen to the music being played and not just probably follow the beat and other such, then check this song out. It’s real good.

Unrelated:
I woke up the other day and all my roomies asked me if I knew Robert Plant (before I’d gotten off the daze). I replied, “Yes, he’s the Led Zep vocalist…” with a trace of fear. After all the Himesh bashing (sheesh, him again, I’d really tried to avoid having him featuring in this post, he’s more regular in our posts than Pink Floyd even) they have to put up with everyday, I’d really expected them to absolutely rip his vocals apart. They kinda surprised me with saying nothing about him, just that there was this program about him on History channel (talk about being historical when you’re alive).

I smiled to myself.
Good music is really inaccessible in some parts of the world.

It probably does make sense to decide whether you like a song or not straightaway rather than actually take the pains to think about it. Probably. Just that I prefer Floyd.

-Komodo Dragon

Why?

As Douglas Adams had said in one of his books (can’t remember which one… I guess it’s one of his unfinished works) WHY is the best question possible.

He went on to give some fairly brilliant examples. This is one I remember:

He: Will you go to bed with me?
She: Why?

He also went on to give reasons like ‘Why’ is the only question, which has an alphabet named after it. (Not the exact words, but similar gist)

Then he said the best answer to the question ‘Why’ is actually an equally elusive phrase ‘Why not?’ A question with a question for an answer.
Again, not the exact words but somewhat similar.

Anyways, that apart, it occurred to me to come up with this ‘why’ series, just questioning the ways of the world in general. Artistic answers expected.

Here’s the first of them:

Was watching TV sometime last evening and was on one of the news channels. There was this funny dude in a police uniform who was midway between threatening us and cautioning us of dire consequences of God knows what. He’s damn funny I tell you.

Somewhere along the way, he told us about the capture of some thug in Nepal who was a henchman of quite a few of the regular Bombay honchos who’re accused of currently residing in Dubai, Pakistan, Satyamangalam forest and other such places with which we don’t have an extradition treaty going. Wow.

Back to the point, this moron is in Nepal and is caught. We also got a brief glimpse of his career. Boy, looks like the underworld has a HR dept and a recruitment policy of it’s own. This guy has really switched sides quite often.

They showed us some footage of him caught and being accompanied to an about-to-come-apart police van. His face was all covered and he was quite short.

Now the question. Why did they cover his face? If he’s ashamed of having done whatever he’s done, then why did he do it in the first place? Or Was he ashamed of being caught?
In any case, he’s caught and people who caught him don’t like him (apparently), then why accede to his requests of having his face covered?
Also, they go about all the hard work of sketching out his face and developing it further and then putting it up (with other info) in the ‘Wanted’ list (still comes on DD) and then they allow him to hide his face.

Same deal with the local dudes who get caught committing frauds and all that. There are 2 reasons their face ought to be shown:
1) We’d know that we’ve got to avoid doing business with this person. (if we bother remembering)
2) The insult would frighten a few others from trying out something of the sort.

I don’t see any benefits to society in general with having their faces covered.

Why the cover?’

Do we have the rights to be lenient towards people who’ve wronged us?

Ask the friends/relatives of those who died in Bombay. And thank you media, for praising the “Spirit of Mumbai” and promptly forgetting everything about the people who are suffering.
Guess Prince in a hole is more important.

-Komodo Dragon