The Good Guys

Dodda Ganesh retired last week. Can someone in the first place tell me when was he hired? And then there is Anil Kumble blabbering “He was a great asset to Indian cricket and blah blah….”

Let’s talk about this city. Bangalore is a weird place. So weird that it’s got a circle named after Anil Kumble. Anil Kumble was definitely not an eligible candidate considering the fact that he only bowled straight through out his life. That’s me being the Antagonist, I guess. Anyways, people who have stayed in this city at least for a while would know what I am talking about. The early morning fights, the traffic on the road etc. etc. Btw, when I use the word ‘fight’, I mean it. I am not talking about arguments. And then there are autos, which make more noise than a ‘Sukhoi’ and the noise is probably the most irritating in the world. Why can’t these guys do something about it?

Of late, I’ve heard from few of the readers that we only hit out using the blog as a medium. Just gave it a little thought and concluded that that’s not true. We have just been presenting the facts, probably in a more Thinshark-ish way, if that can be a word. There have been times when we have praised something/someone for doing something sensible, but I guess we are not too good at praising. Hitting out comes to us naturally, especially with two of the writers being Capricorns and the third not requiring to be a Capricorn to hit out.

The reason for bringing this topic in picture was more because I was about to mention about the decent job being done by few people whom I have to see everyday. Traffic in Bangalore is becoming a global issue these days. Everyone seems to be talking about it including Osama. Now come on, how long can people talk about Pratibha Patil’s bank loan and her insane brother. There’s nothing new about a new case against the Big B. He seems to have got used to it now. So much that he is planning to acquire the land right opposite the Mumbai high court and this time he has decided that he would present himself as gardener who has been watering the Banyan tree in the ground since the last 43.67 years. No one anymore cares who the hell the coach of the Indian cricket team is.

Yeah, coming back to the point, the guys I was talking about are the traffic cops, who according to me are doing a great job here. Trust me, but for them, people would have had to travel almost 4-5 hours a day. Also, I can proudly state that Bangalore is the only place (as far as I know) where people do not cross the white line when they stop at a signal. The cops here are a bit crazy or probably they are being made to work day in and out. Even at 2 AM, I have seen these guys checking commuters. Well, one can argue that all this is happening to mint money from the public, but whatever the reason may be, one needs to applaud these guys for maintaining discipline. There have been so many occasions when I have seen cops switching off the signals and regulating the traffic manually. There is definitely a sense of responsibility and I think that’s commendable.

The government also, due to some weird reason, seems to have gained sense and is deploying cops in every corner of the city. Probably there’s a lot of money flowing in. Frankly, I have always believed that administration in this place is much better than most of the cities of India and also people here have a sense of responsibility when it comes to cleanliness of the place, environment etc. Otherwise, there would not be as many trees here in spite of the constant growth in infrastructure.

Quite a few measures that can be taken to improve the conditions though. But then, the govt. would not even give it a thought, forget about implementing. For instance, have no clue why the govt. allows every other company to build cars in India. How do these guys manage to obtain a license? Name a company and they have a plant here. Few like General Motors have more than one. Well, they are coming up with the second one actually. Every month there is a car launch…four companies planning on a one-lakh rupee car. Wondering what’s gonna happen when that’s launched. I just hope autos get replaced by these cars. At least I would not have to go through the torture of listening to the noise everyday. So many measures, but no takers and why would someone? After all, it’s a matter of money. It all starts and ends there.

Meanwhile, another controversy surrounding Pratibha Patil. Switched on the idiot box in the morning and there flashes the news “Few morons with absolutely nothing to do accuse Pratibha Patil of being an atheist.” Who cares anyways…

-AHAK

The looks

Was having this discussion with roomies here about a colleague who’s gone far east. Further east than even I have. Around twice as east and much less south, in fact a fair distance north.
So there we were watching the rain and discussing. These guys were of the opinion that he’d have a real hard time enduring that place. Oh the place we were talking about was Shanghai btw. “I was like, Shanghai is a fantastic place (or so says discovery channel) and he’s only going to be there for a couple of months. So how hard can it get at worst? I mean, unless he’s out there counting down from day 1”.

One of my roomies suddenly comes up with, “hey, can you consider eating a horse’s tongue? Or a frog’s legs? Or for that matter, a snake?”

I gave it a serious thought, considered all options and said, “yeah… I wouldn’t mind.”
They gave me the stunned look.
I went ahead “There are people out there who eat this stuff, there’s got to be something about it that makes them want to eat it. It’s not like they’ve a shortage of stuff and that that’s forcing them to eat whatever they get their hands on.”

Come to think of it, I really meant that stuff. I wouldn’t go about trying to find some joint that serves snakes. But yeah when I get to the bridge, I’ll cross it.

Anyways, this entire attitude came over me quite recently. During the early days of my stay here to be precise. I was this average non-vegetarian dude who wanted to try out the local stuff.
I used to have ‘South Indian Meals’ on a more regular basis here than in south India and with all due respect to the meals, I got kinda bored of it.
So off we went one day, to a joint which isn’t exactly a house hold name or anything.

Saravana bhawan was probably the only joint which was a household name in my house anyways, and I didn’t know too many people who didn’t live in my house then.

So at this joint, I order myself a malay style prawn mee and the other 2 order an apple juice each.
I got this huge bowl full of what appeared like soup and tasted sweetish with noodles and prawns thrown in at random. Now the prawns (unlike back home) didn’t have the shells (or whatever) removed, they were more like picked off the oceans and dumped into the vessel to be boiled in. The locals use their hands to eat. I had learnt that on my way here.

Back to that lunch. Played around with the mee (thick noodles) for a bit and was about to pick the first prawn. When I noticed it had been actually put in to the bowl as is.

It’s eyes seemed to look at me with a “hey I’m already dead, you cant make it worse for me by eating me as well, can you” look. Not kidding, the eyes were close to tears I tell you.
I replied with a “Come on. You got to be kidding!!” look.
To which it came up with a “if you were as dead and boiled as I am, would you be thinking of joking about?” look.
I gave it an approving “you do have a sense of humor” look.
It tried cutting me down to size with a “is that all you think about? How shallow” sort of a look.
I swallowed my ego and replied with a “let’s be reasonable here, you’re dead already, what difference does it make to you whether I eat you or not?” look.
It tried another card and gave me the “do you know I had a family, most of whom are being eaten by the gentleman in the next table” look.
I gave it a “so?” look. (this was the easiest part of the entire ordeal)
It gave me a “we could’ve been reunited, and he’s at least from around here” look.
I gave it the usual, extremely cheap and currently fashionable, fairly easy to execute “ha… racist!!!” look

It gave up completely and seemed to be thinking to itself, “these humans are such pathetic creeps, they always…” it was at this point that I ate it.

Somewhere during all this, my roomie had very politely wanted to know why I was staring at the dish.
I had given him “gimme a sec, I’m in a discussion here” look.

He looked at the gentleman in the next table, who smiled back before devouring the last of the prawn’s family. Neither my roomie, nor the gentleman nor the prawns in his dish seemed to understand each other’s expressions and to be honest, none of them were bothered about it either.

My roomies, both being vegetarians, do not understand the sentiments between eater and eatee. I being myself got the point across to the prawn that the way to a man’s heart is via his stomach.

I really shudder to think about the consequences of me having failed that test.

But then they don’t call me the Komodo Dragon for nothing. The point, according to me, behind food existing is for it to be eaten.

All the veggies out there who got grossed out and all, I perfectly understand. I went through a stern test myself.

Please don’t tell me it’s a sin for me to consume what I feel like, I won’t tell you that it isn’t.

The looks: Some are born with it, some get it from prawns they wish to eat.

-KD

p.s. I still have my reservations about insects…

arbit pics

right now

Feel like listening to all these tracks right now. Today is a big day in a way… will tell you all more about it sometime…

1) Kishore - Rhim jhim ghire saawan (whiskey)
2) Kishore - Anamika (on the bike… outskirts of pune… late at night, us guys singing)
3) Travis – Afterglow (driving back home after a crazy day’s work)
4) Floyd – Cymbaline (5 am, drunk, hostel, winamp voiceprint)
5) Floyd – Flaming (anytime anyday)
6) Floyd – Lucifer Sam (can’t have floyd – piper without this track)
7) Floyd - One of my turns (that part of the wall… after the hits are done with, the vocals suddenly get distant, fading and the tracks get very rough in an odd way… man that’s trippy)
8) Tom Petty - Free fallin
9) Coldplay – Shiver (traffic jam and I’m hoping I’m stuck there for much longer, laughing at the annoyed people)
10) U2 – Bad (walking alone, headphones,dark, the jungle isn’t frightening once you’re used to it)
11) REM - Find the river (there’s a post about this one)
12) Clapton – Promises (rich stuff)
13) Coldplay - Clocks (KL, the pool, beer)
14) Aerosmith - Seasons of whither (haunting)
15) Green Day - Basket case (me heh heh)

And I feel like listening to these on an audio tape if possible (with voiceprint… weird)… amidst other tracks which don’t feature here.

-KD

solitude

Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

(from the movie pulp fiction)

if you haven't watched the movie yet, watch it.

went on a trip to singapore over the weekend. and for some reason, ended up in indonesia as well (completely unplanned)... the discussion over whether to go or not lasting about a minute.
point behind all this being said here is, i was quiet through the cruise instead of the usual "yaking" and my roomies were like wondering if something's the matter.

Consider this, a lazy evening out in the ocean, tropical islands in the distance... now would you want to be talking is such a place?
and what's with us and wondering if something's the matter if somebody's quiet?
we have to open up to the concept of being blissfully silent.

it's hard to keep mum these days without having somebody getting worked up... even if you have a rep for being somebody who spends most of his free hours in his room with a book.

-KD

p.s. there's more about batam that i'd probably write about. probably...